Is there a more insincere phrase than “we should get together sometime”?
There’s a special breed of vampire out there, not nearly as fun as Twilight or as cool as Lestat. Let’s call them the vampire moms (and dads- no need to be gender specific here). It’s usually someone who you haven’t seen in a while. Someone who wants something from you. Someone who is almost a stranger. For some reason, to facilitate an exchange of information (or maybe since they have no info to exchange in return for what they are asking), after taking what they wanted from you, they throw out, “we should get together sometime” without meaning it in the slightest.
Vampire: “Hey! Wow, long time no see! How are you? Are you still living in Brooklyn? Wow, Jasper is already 5? Last time we saw him he was a baby. I remember once that you mentioned you had a midwife you loved using. Well, we are thinking of getting pregnant again, and our O.B. just did not get it last time around, so we wanted to try something new. Would you mind giving us the name of your midwife to call? ”
Me: “Sure, it’s Best-Midwife-Ever at 212-999-9999.”
Vampire: “Thanks SO much, you guys are the best. We should really get together sometime and really catch up, ta ta”
And then they disappear for another five years until they want something else. What’s up with that? Even though I know the offer is just a throw-away, a tiny part of me thinks, OH YEAH, MAYBE WE SHOULD, while being fairly certain the follow-up call will never come. Brings out that old high-school feeling (maybe more junior high), that ONE- okay me- is just not cool enough to friend. Even knowing I’ll never hear from them to set up the get together, I somehow still feel bad when the blood sucker slinks away in the night with the “we should get together sometime” still hanging in the air.
No stake in the heart will probably kill this bad habit, but if you or someone you know is a blood sucker, when you want something, just ask nicely and skip the b.s.
Now on to how I wish people would stop saying hello to me in the hallways. Dammit, sometimes I just want to walk down the hallway and not deal.
Crankiness factor 10,000.